Ten New Year resolutions for horsey people

It’s that time again. We all vow to do better, be better, look better and feel better when the new year dawns, even though, with the best of intentions, most of what we pledge to do is abandoned by mid-January. Here are ten New Year’s resolutions that horsey people should make.

1. I will spend more time with my family

There are several of them in the house who look vaguely familiar, and they seem like nice people.

2. I will socialise with my non-horsey friends

Though not on the evenings when it’s light enough and dry enough to ride. Or the day before a show. Or before a lesson. Or if I’m too tired after riding, or if I can’t be bothered to get done up…

3. When I’m at work, I won’t bore my colleagues with talk of bits, the next show, the funny thing that my horse did that morning, or my recent lesson

It’s not their fault they have the wrong priorities, and I hate it when their eyes glaze over.

4. I will pretend to be interested when people show me pictures of their children

Even though everyone knows that children are just horse substitutes.

5. I will clean my tack every time after I ride

Or at least every second time. OK, at least once a week. Or before a show.

6. I will not nip to the store dressed in my horsey gear, with bits of hay in my hair and reeking of “horse”

I appreciate that not everyone thinks eau de cheval is the best fragrance in the world.

7. I will always, always, wheel the barrow up the plank to the top of the muckheap, rather than dumping it at the side

Unless I’m really in a hurry.

8. I will not allow my horse to get away with tanking, broncing, shying, napping, refusing or putting in a flying change when he feels like it

Though sometimes it is kind of fun…

9. I will persuade my other half to try riding lessons again

And I promise I won’t laugh this time.

10. I will spend more time with my horse

This is the only resolution likely to last beyond 16 January 2016.


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